Something is rotten in the state of Verona -- namely, this insipid Kidz Bop take on one of the greatest romantic tragedies of all time.
It’s a slippery slope between “star-crossed lovers” and “whiny, entitled brats,” and Juliet & Romeo lands squarely on the wrong end of that equation. Writer-director Timothy Scott Bogart crafts a banal pop musical, plowing through Shakespeare’s beloved play as though West Side Story and Franco Zeffirelli and Baz Luhrmann hadn’t already been there and done that. A lot.
Even the film’s let’s-call-it-creative take on the tragic ending is nothing new, having already been tried by the regrettable 2005 animated kiddie feature Romeo & Juliet: Sealed with a Kiss. The one where the protagonists are cartoon seals.
When Juliet & Romeo isn’t assaulting us with dreadful ditties by Evan Kidd Bogart and Justin Gray — on a positive note, the tunes are as immediately forgettable as they are awful — it’s punishing our eyes with garish color and off-putting visuals. What’s the point in hiring the great Dante Ferretti as a production designer when cinematographer Byron Werner’s guiding aesthetic is “make the lighting noticeably ugly in every scene”?
Leads Clara Rugaard (who previously played Juliet on the TV series Still Star-Crossed) and Jamie Ward (His Dark Materials) are telegenic enough in a Disney Channel way, but they never summon up the turmoil of young people rebelling against their families’ wishes or the passion of two lovers ready to pay the ultimate price to be together. Their miscasting is exacerbated by the strength of the supporting cast, who consistently outshine the title players — Ferdia Walsh-Peelo’s Tybalt and Nicholas Podany’s Mercutio have an inner light and magnetic camera presence that give Juliet & Romeo much-needed life whenever they appear.
The casting directors have definitely bulked up the film’s supporting roles with Rupert Everett and a seemingly uncomfortable Rebel Wilson as Juliet’s parents, Jason Isaacs (saddled with a grey struggle wig) as Lord Montague, a hammy Dan Fogler as the apothecary, and the film’s MVP, Sir Derek Jacobi, bringing genuine Shakesperean heft and brilliant comic timing to his role as Friar Lawrence.
Director Bogart tends to drain the romance and the excitement from the source material: The camera is rarely where it needs to be to capture the choreography (either the dancing or the sword-fighting kind), and his soundstage Verona rarely comes to life as a living, breathing location. Bogart’s script plays up the 14th century political intrigue, with much discussion over whether the royals of Rome will select the Montagues or the Capulets to support them in their war against the Pope, but this subplot comes to naught, with the exception of a meaty role for Rupert Graves as the king’s emissary.
If you find yourself revolted by the low-budget slasher movies made by such recently-released-from-copyright characters as Winnie the Pooh, Popeye, and Mickey Mouse, apply some of that distaste to Juliet & Romeo, which turns Shakespeare’s work into quite the horror show.
